My house is a wreck, I am still in the clothes I worked out in this morning, and piles of laundry assault my couch. I’m not even going to talk about the kitchen which looks like a bomb went off in it.
One child is napping, praise the Lord, but the other two can’t stop bickering to save their lives (or mine). After an hour of attempting to get them to have a peaceful rest time, I succumb to throwing a movie on. I would tell you that there is some form of mom guilt in that, but I am way beyond feeling any sort of shame or guilt for using the television to distract my children. I bless the tv’s name on the regular (Amen & Amen).
Somedays I feel so fortunate to wear the hat of mother, wife, writer, friend, housekeeper, chef, dog-walker, and cheerleader/chauffeur for all the people living under this roof. Other days, well, I feel both too much and not enough.
Today is one of those days when Satan wants to creep into my thoughts and use my feelings against me.
Earlier today, I stole a moment of silence and quickly scrolled through social media. As I swiped through the pretty photos I heard him, “Look at all they’re doing, you should be doing more! Their house is so clean, why can’t you keep up? Their family is so well put-together, why can’t you seem to shower regularly? Look at her posh job and beautiful family, why don’t you put your two masters degrees to better use? She is so thin after having all those kids, you should probably lay off the Blue Bell ice cream, mk?”
I put my phone down and tried to drown out the lies. But when I look around at all that needs to be done, every mess seems to echo the lie: You are both too much and not enough for this.
I tell you all of this not so you’ll feel sorry for me. No, I have a full and beautifully messy life that I love. But I’m sharing this today because this week we’re sharing HOPE from where we’re sitting now. And well, I could make up something grand and spiritual for you, but the truth is my daily life is ordinary and repetitive and God has been so faithful to call me to His will during this exhaustingly normal season.
In a world that’s glamorous, my life pales significantly. My daily routine includes wiping little bottoms, reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear just short of a dozen times, and breaking up fights. It includes a lot of time in the kitchen, nightly cleaning (or days like today when I get behind because I didn’t clean up the night prior), and mountains of laundry. My days are full of losing my patience, saying I’m sorry, and helping tiny sinners see that this big sinner needs Jesus just like they do. And that’s just my kids.
I’m also doing this awkward ongoing dance with my spouse in which sometimes we step on each others toes and fight over who takes lead, and then other times it feels like we are one – moving gracefully across the dance floor.
And through it all I’ve come to embrace that ordinary days like today, when life feels less than glamorous, are just as holy as the days when I feel like supermom. The everyday fight to keep my eyes on Jesus looks differently on these days, but the fight, the wrestle, the highs and the lows, they’re all a part of learning to love Him more.
So today, when I look at the state of my house (& self) and wish I could be something else, someone else, ANYWHERE else (please Jesus, send me on a trip to Italy with all the vino and gelato), I’m choosing to speak truth instead of succumbing to the lies.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
The Lord knows the number of my days and is in charge of every single one of them.
The Lord is sovereign and He is good in all things.
He sees me, He adores me, and He has called me to be present in this moment.
The Lord is good and His mercy endures forever.
He has removed my sin as far as the east is to the west.
Therefore, I don’t have to be enough because Christ is enough for me.
And my favorite reminder, The Lord is my portion. He is my portion during seasons of plenty, seasons of wanting, and seasons of the long ordinary days in between.
So I’m sorry, today’s post isn’t flashy, but it mirrors my everyday life. Today you will get a glimpse of one ordinary human choosing hope in her messy ordinary days.
And I’m hoping you’ll join me.
What’s your day look like today? How are you choosing hope in the ordinary?