Parched

5/16
((from Natalie))

I’m exhausted today.  Just totally dried up by my mothering responsibilities and I’m sitting here trying to conjure up some inspirational words to dispense to you. I’m past deadline for my post and I’ve scrapped multiple attempts to grab at something meaningful, worthwhile, or hope-filled. My most honest self is trying to find an easy way out. I’m just emotionally parched. I can think of a dozen other things I want to do right now besides be a hope–giver, and it feels like I’ve got nothing to give.

So I’m going to take. I’m going to take a few minutes to just sit here with you. We are going to sit in the reality that hope is hard, together.

Do you ever feel this way too?  Ever just look at your commitments and say, “Nope. Can’t.  Not going to achieve today.”

Do you want to shout at Him?  “Where are you, God!? Why aren’t you here in a way I can see?”

Do you sometimes just need to heave sighs and groan from a heavy heart?

Ever wish you could just climb into the lap of God, let your tears fall and just rest safely there?

If you’re reading this it’s likely that you need something: more hope. I don’t have any wise words to dispense, so instead, let’s pray. Let’s empty our hearts at the feet of a loving Father:

God,
You are good. You are the author of this life. Thank you for writing me into Your story.  I don’t understand this chapter, this season you’ve got me in. I want to be close to You. I want to know Your ways. I want to feel your closeness. God, bring me back to you. Come into full view. Won’t you brush against my cheek? Love me up close. Won’t you sit here, next to me in front of this screen. Fan the fire you want blazing in my heart, Lord. Light the way to the next step you want me to hit with my weary stride. I’m nothing if I’m not Yours. So, I proclaim You. I shout that it’s You. YOU are my hope and I cannot manufacture any in my own strength.  I’ve tried God, oh you know how I’ve tried without You! I’m so sorry God.  You are my reason to hope. You are first, God. I’m putting You back there, back at the front of my life. I’m sorry I ever let you slip from the top of my priorities. I invite you into it all. Sit on top of it all, rain down into everything.  Humble me with your will, Father. Take me places that I can only go because You are with me. All of my life, it is Yours.
Amen.

“But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27

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