Growing up, the Holy Spirit was always more of an abstract idea than a living, moving being. To be completely honest, I was always a little scared of Him. Who was this “Ghost” that was always present? I couldn’t picture Him- I didn’t know what His face or Spirit looked like, so I frankly just ignored Him. There were whispers about gifts that He gave- speaking strange languages of His tongue and miraculous healings, but I was skeptical and they seemed too mysterious to truly still happen in this world.
It wasn’t until after I graduated from college that I truly started to explore what a relationship looked like with this unique Being of the Triune God. I started to venture out of my comfort zone, and, as a result, was plunged into more mystery.
I found that Holy Spirit to be incredibly intentional- Giver of gifts both big and small. I learned that speaking directly to the Spirit gave me a clearer understanding of who Jesus was and who the Father is. Jesus is the great intercessor, and the Spirit is the one who moves over those prayers, gathering them and tucking them away to be answered. To be clear, those answers are generally not what we expect, and a lot of times, aren’t what we want. Sometimes those answers are not to happen on this side of heaven, and sometimes He gives us a gift perfectly packaged just for us.
I also found that that Spirit is who moves us to conviction. Like a garden, He is gently re-rooting the weeds in our hearts to make way for blooming flowers of vibrant color. The Spirit never speaks out of guilt or condemnation. Instead, he softly prompts and guides, giving us the choice to say yes. And this is a great gift- one that I certainly wouldn’t give if I was given the role that He has. The sweet reminder that ultimately we are gifted the ability to choose Him, again and again.
I am a testament that the Holy Spirit hears, sees, and moves on our behalf. When I started praying specific prayers- both big and small, my eyes were open to the wonders that He provides. We are to pray with expectant hearts- knowing that the Spirit will move and work, and also knowing that we will likely not understand all of the answers. But it is a beautiful thing to come to a place of such complete trust to know without doubt that the prayers will be answered- whether or not we can physically see or understand them. And the mystery of it is that the Spirit will mold our hearts, giving us a longer rope of trust, so that even in this, we realize we are powerless without the Helper.
The Holy Spirit will never cease to be a mystery. We are allowed bits and pieces of his mind, but we are not shown the full picture. If we were, we would stop desperately needing Him. But His might and power and goodness and majesty are far beyond us found in a heavenly world.
He’s a mystery, and I kinda like it that way.